I got the e-mail last February 23. I've continued the online application. A little overwhelmed but I think I can manage through it.
I tried looking for my previous addresses in the US as these are needed for the application. I think it has gotten me a bit frustrated.
"So I'm forced to look back over the past decade and list down all the places I've lived at with specific dates of my moves, and I realized I blotted out a chunk of early 2012 to early 2013 wherein I packed my bags four times for work in SoCal then eventually boarded the plane with what I could carry back to the PH. What a stressed little wreck I was back then!" (6 March 2017)
I am now a little more excited having told my friend and student Shoko-san. I know it'll be another great adventure. But first, I must compile all the documents I need!
Stuff I learned about feminism in the Philippine context over the past few months: 1) I will not use the #EveryWoman hashtag when I deliberately do it to gain sympathy and to avoid answering for my faults/crimes/stupidity. 2) I will not cry #Misogyny when my enemy fights back (with facts). 3) I will honor the relationships/marriages of men I like and will not succumb to the #FrailtiesOfAWoman. 4) I will research more about the cultural context before backbiting him when my boss announces to an audience that I have #SmoothKnees. 5) I will admit I have smooth knees and get down to work instead of continuing to use my #PseudoFeminism banner. 6) I will not hide behind the #CloakOfReligion and let myself be called a saint or the Virgin when clearly I'm not.
"I need time," she told the Old Man as she struggled to stand up.
The rain continued to pour. 'It is unnatural,' she thought. It never rained when they took on each other to train.
Her teacher flicked a finger, and she was thrown back again, her body already battered from his attacks.
"Tell me, Young One," he said, "Will time wait for you?"
She felt her hands shake as she tried to push herself up again.
"You ask for time, you ask for understanding. It is almost as if you are asking for mercy." The tone was grating.
"I am not asking for mercy!" She fought back her tears. The Old Man laughed. "I am NOT asking for mercy!" She repeated as she crawled on fours.
"Then what do you want, Wa-Su-Nah? What are you crying for?"
The tears fell as the rain fell.
She heard a distant song from home.
'Storm Bringer, Bringer of Dawn, carry the torch, carry on. Storm Bringer, Bringer of Dawn, sing your song, carry on. Sing the song in your heart, sing it long. Storm Bringer, Bringer of Dawn.'
"You knew," she said. "You knew it was going to happen! Why only now? Why just now when it's too late to save Her?"
"Is it too late?"
She took a handful of earth and tried to clear her mind. Rage can be confusing. Rage can be an enemy. "Is it not?" She shouted through the rain.
"Because all things must come to pass as they should pass, and because we - you and I - have the power to make our own choices," he answered. "And because they have made their choices too."
"So we have to suffer because of them? Our families have to die because of them? We lose the Motherland because of them?"
"Every action will merit a consequence."
"Their actions will kill the Goddess."
She saw the quick narrowing of his eyes, and before she could take another breath, she was thrown into the air again. 'This is it,' her mind wandered. 'The end of this all.' She felt her back hit something hard. She was too weak to cry now. All she has ever done was cry. She wanted to stop crying.
"The Goddess retreats because She will bring forward the ills in this world. To give birth, She must honor Her womb. She must rest. She must gather Her strength. And while She rests, He must act. He must do what He can to prepare for Her coming again." He glided across the field and stood where she could clearly see his weathered face. "You, of all people, know this."
"I..." She failed to find the words.
"She will not allow Her children to live among those who prey on Her goodness. She will not allow Her children to suffer, and so will He. There must always be balance, a time of reckoning," he said. "Did I not tell you this?"
"Purification," she whispered as she saw a lightning flash across the sky just above the two of them.
"Those who will not heed will know Her wrath." He looked beyond the shores of Rapa Nui. "She will take into account what She has lost, and what must be saved."
She closed her eyes. "And no one can stop Her."
"Time will not wait for you, Young One," he said, his eyes still far away. "Do not ask for it."
The rain suddenly stopped.
She blinked. 'Yes, of course,' she thought almost foolishly. 'He can control the elements, can alter the weather.'
"Stand up, Wa-Su-Nah." The Old Man's voice was firm. "Remember that you carry hope for Her."
She wiped her eyes, and anchored herself on the rock she fell on. She stood up with shaking legs and took a deep breath.
"Stand up and fight for Her."
She moved her arms, a clockwise motion, then vacuumed the energy around her.
"Heal yourself." He called out as he distanced himself from her, preparing for her attack.
A silver light burst out from her body as she anchored herself to the Earth and reached out to the Heavens.
"She heals as you heal," he continued. "But you must fight when the time comes, because She will need you to defend Her and Her children."
'Carry the torch, carry on. Sing the song in your heart, sing it long. Storm Bringer, Bringer of Dawn.'
"I am not alone!" she cried out.
"You are not." He echoed.
She looked up and raised her arms to the sky. There was no need for any incantation now. She knew she just had to believe in it.
'Storm Bringer...'
A lightning flashed followed by a reverberating thunder that shook the entire island. The rain fell again, sudden and heavier and angrier. It was her this time. It was her turn to control the elements, to let the Old Man know she understood her power.
She looked at her teacher. She knew he was tired, and she knew he did not have much time left with her.
"Anger is good, let it fuel you." He spoke to her in her thoughts. "But do not let it destroy you."
She moved her arms again, counter-clockwise this time, then aimed at the Old Man.
He did not even move nor blink an eye, she saw. He just gave her a sad smile.
A lightning struck the ground near her and split it open. He nodded.
"Know She is always with you," he said. "Then, Now, and in the next lifetimes."
A blinding light enveloped the small island, and all fell into a deep and deafening silence.
My work verification letters from SCS Global and Foothill College finally arrived. I have to contact Reedley International School again to get my request from them.
Last December, I completed my Express Entry profile for a chance to immigrate to Canada as a skilled worker. My CRA score, however, was only 444. I'm not really keeping my hopes up knowing that the last intake had a score of over 700.
I was also thinking, if I really was meant to go to Canada, something is bound to happen sooner or later. For now, there is much to be done in the Philippines and places to travel to here.
GOALS FOR THE YEAR 💪 Self-Empowerment Goals
1. Planner + Dream Book
2. Positive Self-Talk re: past relationships
3. 10-second Lip Purse: breathe before talking 🌸 Health, Beauty & Wellness Goals (1st Quarter Focus)
1. Exercise Routine with Target Areas: flat tummy, thin upper arms, improving vision
2. Beauty Regimen with Target Areas: face, skin
3. Learn new trends and light make up especially for the eyes
📈 Financial Goals (1st - 4th Quarter Focus)
1. Chase Bank
2. BPI Savings, Short Term & Premium Bond Funds, BPI Family Dollar Deposits
3. Stock Investment: COL Financial
🎨 Career Goals (3rd Quarter Focus)
1. Get 2 new clients for online work
2. Rainforest Alliance Auditor Status
3. Dress more professionally without sacrificing comfort & own style
💖 Relationship Goals (2nd Quarter Focus onwards)
1. Find new and healthier ways of viewing situations
2. Strengthen friendships (regular interactions), connect more with family
3. Date again ON MY OWN LIFE PATH 🌳 Life Skills
1. Be clutter free: 3 items a week
2. Lights off by 11:30 pm
3. Driving (!!!)
🌏 Becoming a Global Citizen
1. KidzConnect
2. Travel outside the Philippines: 2 stamps on my passport
3. Keep interacting with foreigners 🌱 In The Womb
1. Documents for moving abroad: Canadian Express Entry
2. Scrapbook
3. Write poetry and short stories again
HAPPINESS & EASE
🎆 Reward
1. Save up for New Balance hiking shoes (4th quarter of the year)
2. Rebond hair (35th birthday)
3. Small treats: ice cream sundae (anytime I feel like having one!)
